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[21 Nov 2006|02:19am] |
live journal still exsists?
and you fuckers still use it?
wow.
grow up.
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| fuck that. |
[14 May 2006|04:03pm] |
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mood |
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i have no feelings. |
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I walked into a Laundromat and lit up a cigarette.
A woman said, "Extinguish that. You can't smoke in here."
But I can, and I am,
And I'm so separated from my own awkward body.
I'm stretching out to clear a pool of water.
An open invitation - to us from the oceans.
Alchemy is fun.
You see you don't need to change things;
Things change themselves:
From metal to gold, from raindrops to snow.
It just so happens the snow will change us all.
Ironic how these bones can't handle the fall.
Nostalgia dies every time we lie about some details we hide
Cause the truth truly hurts sometimes.
So don't you cry.
Don't keep me up all night.
if you could pick a band that best describes your life so far who would it be?
id say blink 182 sums everything up for me.
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[26 Mar 2006|07:15pm] |
i want to be dead.
game over.
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[14 Feb 2006|12:29am] |
MONDAY night
TIME: 11:50pm
There is a blank Microsoft Word screen behind this live journal screen and i need to fill that blank microsoft word document with five hundred words before ten fourty five tomorrow. Its not alot of work, and its not a hard assignment but its hard to motivate this dead body of mine.
SUB THOUGHT
TIME: 11:53
Im getting sick of trying. the idea of giving up completely is so tempting. Give me purpose and ill start trying.
TIME: 11:54
I'm watching alot of ultimate fighting on tv. i watch it every time its on spike tv. as a matter of fact its on tv right now. im disgusted in the fact that i enjoy violence and fighting so much...but thats what america has come down too, what person doesnt slow down for the car crash on the high way with hope of seeing blood and guts.
you all know as messed up as it would be, deep in the back of your brain your wishing that the chick who just got raild by the construction truck is lifless in the street with her un-proportional body soaking up her own blood. and as much as the sight of human intestine and brain disgust you, you still wouldnt dare to NOT look at the "unfortunate" situation.
death is fun, fighting is fun...or im just bored as hell.
TIME: 12:10
it has now been two hours since i attempted to start my essay. One thought comes into my brain...
why am i so unmotivative. why is it, that as much as i care about something i still will fuck it up, and if i recognize the problem and even if i know how to fix it, i will simply refuse to do anything about it. this applys to everything, school,family,friends. and im slowly realizing that my worst enemy is myslef.
SUB THOUGHT:
TIME: 12:16
my teenage angst is doing a number on my brain. im not satisfied with anything, and i stress over the simplest things. And im well aware that abusing drugs is not helping me out what so ever. but its the most feasible solution to my pathetic problems. but if i keep it up then the "solution" is gonna start being the problem....its the vicious cycle.
TIME: 12:22
im absolutely wired on ridillin right now, and i could ramble on forever. but ill cut myself short.
system OVERLOAD.
CONNECTION LOST.......
.......................................................................
REBOOT.
EMOTIONS: TIRED, FED UP, confused.
Conclusion: not everything is suppose to make sense, and you cant always get what you want, but giving up is never an option.
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| i am you it the. |
[30 Jan 2006|09:53pm] |
time: 9:38 pm
i need to live my life in new eyes, the ones i have now are getting to hazey.
time: 9:42
some day i'll realize life is more than just getting high and hanging out with friends. life is suppose to be taken seriously? i live my life each day not knowing, i'll fall in place some time...right?
TIME: 9:47
i've noticed change. people, place's, thing's.
sometimes everyone just tries too hard.including my self.
TIME:9:51
my thoughts are pointless.
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[16 Jan 2006|02:23pm] |
TIME: 1:48
i am sitting here, all by myself, with nothing to do and just thinking a million thoughts at once and of nothing special. just thoughts.
in exact order i will tell you every thought i am thinking at the moment.
THOUGHT #1 time: 1:49
nothing i am thinking will significantly impact anyone reading this. and i simply just write in this little diary of mine to cope with my extreme boredom. why i even try to keep this thing updated in the first place beats the hell out me.or why anyone for that matter feels it necessary to.
THOUGHT #2 time: 1:50
i realize i have nothing to myself....everything i think about, people know. there is atleast five people i know that i tell everything too. i feel like i deserve a little more privacy in my life.in which this lj update defeates the purpose.
THOUGHT #3 time: 1:51- 1:59
i start thinking but even harder this time and i think, no one at all thinks im a serious person. everything i say is taken with up most sarcasm. people have also made it abundantly clear as to how stupid they think i am. since i have been in sixth grade people have refered to me as an idiot, a retard, or of something along those lines. i use to not mind it. now, to be honest, i hate it. i hate how people think i dont care about anything or how im such an idiot. i hate how to most of my friends i am just this ridiculously stupid blonde kid that doesnt give a fuck, and drinks and smokes too much. i then proceed to feel insignificant, and un wanted.
SUB-thought. TIME: 2:00
i start to think about all my friends.
i start to think about where we will end up in the future.
i start to think: i whish the best for everyone.
i start to think: Why is this subject the one that is always discussed amungst my friends.
i start to think: why does it even matter.
..............................
THOUGHT PROCESS DISCONNECTED. TIME: 2:09
THOUGHT PROCESS RE-BOOTED TIME: 2:17
emotions: angry, annoyed
Conclusion: things become more difficult when you think to hard. goals become impossible if you dont think at all.
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[04 Jan 2006|11:02pm] |
did everyone one have a happy new years??
Ive convinced myself that new years eve is just a night like any other and that time is just an stupid system set up to make people feel like they're living their lives to the fullest. It's all bullshit really. this time thing. And so the ball dropping doesn't make any difference at all. One more year? One more minute. This has a lot to do with why people feel old. I've seen that ball drop 18 times now. Fuck. eighteen years! that's a long time. And my grandmother watching it she must feel like the oldest person in the world. So fuck time I say, and fuck new years eve. I'm not celebrating this meaningless moment ever again. I'm not celebrating time. I don't like time. There's not enough of it. Now that I think about it, I refuse to play by times rules. I've been late all my life and i'm going to continue to do so. Next week i'm going to celebrate the fact that i'm still alive. Chances are I'll be late for the party. Hopefully, I will be late for death.
At about 11:45 Ill realize that most of everything i've just thought is merely a coping mechanism I've invented to deal with the fact that I'm boring
At 11:46 Ill come to terms with the fact that I'm boring and that I often try to justify being boring using my imagination to come up with totally ridiculous ideas.
At 11:47 I tell myself "well, at least I have an active imagination."
Somewhere in there I realize the meaning of life and immediately forget it because im always stoned and i always masturbate at 11:40.
people need to chill out.
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[24 Dec 2005|03:25pm] |
DO IT!
MERRY CHRISTMAS
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[15 Dec 2005|02:18pm] |
yup!
Today I had the greatest epiphany I have ever had in my entire life.
You ever see something one day in a way you've never seen it before? Just one day you have a revelation... You're looking at something you see all the time, but today it unfolds before you and shows you it's true nature?
Today for the first time I really saw the Earth.
I was sitting at my house staring out the window at the sun It was about 6:30 PM, and the sun was starting to set on the hills near my house. I was looking out the window, not really thinking about anything in particular, just staring out as my mind was reeling with a million thoughts. Thoughts of life and tragic death, thoughts of terrorism and heroics, thoughts of the nature of things. Just staring and thinking, when all of a sudden... I could see it all, and it all made perfect sense. I suddenly got this amazing sensation, that I was just riding on this planet, this gigantic rock as it spins furiously in space, going a thousand miles an hour.
I could see the Earth's atmosphere, and I could see where it ends, and the darkness of the universe that lies behind it. From this great view that I have, I could actually feel the spin of the Earth. I could feel it pull in an eastward direction. I felt connected to it, and I felt it pull me into the ground with gravity. I've never really looked at the Earth in this way, but tonight I saw it with new eyes. I saw the curve of the planet, and I could just feel how shallow the atmosphere actually is. Just a few miles, really. Not that far at all when you think of it. Just a shallow blanket of life sustaining vapors that shield us from the cruel vacuum of space. I felt this, and I saw this, and it made everything I do seem very silly and insignificant.
I looked at the Sun, just a fucking huge, constant explosion of fire and energy. The most insane and chaotic force in the galaxy, and yet one of the things that's absolutely necessary for life. We sit here comfy and cozy on the rock as it spins faster than the fastest jet that's ever been built, just far enough away from the enormous, violent fireball to sustain a livable temperature. We see the sunset, and we say "Ooh, look how pretty."
Well, today for the first time in all of my life I REALLY saw it.
I just stared at it all in total wonder. A million more thoughts rushed through my brain. Where was the life from the other planets? Would they ever land here in front of everyone, instead of just the usual bunch of hillbillies in a field?
I felt like someday it could happen... I felt like it was possible something was just going to enter the atmosphere at any time. A huge ship from another planet was going to finally land and put our world in check. They would show us the errors of our ways...
Did you ever think that Aliens are just religion for smart people?
Just another, more feasible way to find a daddy that's gonna come down and give you all the answers?
Did you ever think that if there really are these super intelligent aliens, why the fuck would they want to have anything to do with us?
I mean really, consider what it is that we humans REALLY are: A primitive, culture that believes in ridiculous fairy tales and superstitions, engages in genocidal, tribal warfare based on the laws of such fairy tales, and most of our entire currency system is based on a useless shiny metal.
What the fuck is with this fascination with gold?
We have entire economies based on this goofy shiny metal that never grows out of favor, and it's been that way since the beginnings of human history, and nobody ever questions it.
What if intelligent life in the universe is NOT so common, but the conditions for life are...
What if a great race that evolved many hundreds of millions of years before ours realized this. What if they realized that the natural phenomenon of intelligent life was an incredible aberration, and was not likely to happen very often at all. The instances of life in the universe were plentiful enough, but the freak occurrence of INTELLIGENT life was insanely rare.
And why would it occur at all?
Isn't questioning and deep thought contrary to the purpose of nature? Doesn't nature just exist so that things can procreate and keep the cycle moving? What purpose would intelligent life serve other than to fuck up the chain with ill advised and short sighted meddling? What good would ego serve other than to ruin the natural order of things in the name of ones own kind? Most of what intelligent life embodies is contrary to nature. The weak are supposed to perish, and the food chain is holistic and self supporting, unlike civilized society, which in it's advancements ignores the self destructing effect it has on the environment.
What if intelligent life is just a rare fuck up?
Just an odd occurrence with no rhyme or reason. What if intelligent life is just the universe's version of the platypus? A weird creation that follows none of the previous rules, and doesn't make much sense. And why should the universe give a FUCK whether there is life ANY kind of life ANYWHERE? Why should so called "intelligent" life be a priority for the universe? Why should it matter at all whether or not a planet has "thinkers" or just piles of bacteria and moss? The universe is one insanely huge, never ending, bad ass mother fucker!! Do you really think your new car, or your neighborhood, or your favorite little fucking football team matter to the cosmos?
Why should the universe in all of it's violent and incredibly immense glory even care what happens on the surface of it's orbs? Isn't the universe ITSELF alive in it's own majestic sense? Creating worlds, destroying stars, constantly expanding and contracting... Do you really think the universe gives a shit about you?
Maybe this great race of intelligent creatures that evolved hundreds of millions of years before man DID realize this, but maybe their own "natural" instincts for survival lead them to meddle anyway. Maybe they could not resist the urge to keep their civilization alive, even while the planet that they lived on was dying. Maybe it was just their ancient genetics fucking with them, forcing themselves on in an illogical way that's contrary to the plan of nature. Maybe they were aware of this intellectually, but being still driven by their encoded need to carry on the seed, they acted anyway. Maybe they spread out to other worlds. Perhaps they planted seeds of various levels of evolution all over the universe. Perhaps they even accelerated evolution in some places, altering genetics, and even providing technology and answers to questions that wouldn't be asked for thousands of years.
Maybe that explains how and why the great pyramids were created... Maybe that would explain how a race of people that lived before the invention of steel, a race whose written language consisted of stick figures, a race that were basically living in the stone age, could build something that still baffles us today. I saw a special on the Discovery channel last night that was saying there was considerable evidence that the great pyramid of Giza may have been built as much as 10,500 years ago, making it's completion long before the invention of the wheel. There's several theories about how it was done, and all of them suck. Nobody seems wants to step up and say that we really don't have any idea whatsoever how they pulled it off. They just keep pulling out silly theory after silly theory, none of them which convincingly stick.
Did you know that the Great pyramid of Giza has over 2,300,000 stones that weigh between 2.5 and 80 tons each? Cut so perfectly that you can't even get a razor blade in between them, all before the invention of steel which means they had only stone and copper tools? And did you know that if you cut and placed 10 of these stones a day it would take you over 664 years to build ONE pyramid? There are some conventional theories that state the pyramids were built over a course of 20 years, which would require cutting and placing one enormous block of stone with perfect precision, every minute, all day long 365 days a year.
They made it with hundreds of thousands of slaves? Not very likely, since contrary to popular belief slave labor was not widely used in Egypt at the time.
And isn't it at least a little odd that the Egyptians left THOUSANDS of illustrations depicting daily life in the old kingdom, but curiously enough NONE of them show how the pyramids were built?
I mean, why document how and why you built one of the great wonders of the world, when you can leave behind pictures of people carrying fruit on their head?
Did you ever think that maybe we're just the product of accelerated evolution, reaching out to find our creators in the sky?
That maybe the reason why we're so fucked up as a race is that we're just simply not natural? I don't know if any of this makes any sense to anyone but me, but this storm of ideas inside my head tonight was strangely calming. It felt good to feel insignificant. It felt like I was aware of the balance again, for the first time in weeks.
Was I high when I wrote this?
You bet your fucking ass I was, and THAT amongst other things, is why pot is NEVER going to be legal. Pot will never be legal, and there will never be jet packs. Just think about it... if you could smoke pot and fly through the air, you would never take anything seriously ever again.
YUP!
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[07 Dec 2005|11:56am] |
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mood |
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things that happen every day but i think are weird:
a. sleeping- when you go to bed you dont just lay down then zonk out. you lay there like a fucking idiot with your eyes closed and you WAIT.sometimes you wait a long time sometimes you dont wait very long at all. none the less you wait. its like waiting in line to sleep. WEEEIIIRD.
B. Pooping- first off it smells horrible, but when you eat the food smells good. and everyone looks at their shit and the toilet paper after they whipe. also, some people whipe standing up, and some whipe sitting down. WEEEEIIIIIRRRD!
C.religions, praying- people belive in something. that they have no proof of. and to top it off, they pray to that person or thing....how do you exactly pray?...you sit there and you talk to someone who youve never seen and have no proof of even exsisting???...i dont know guyz, WEIRRRD!
D. Live journal- people take time out of there day (including me) and they sit on their computer and they write/vent on this website. and people just ramble and talk about their lives. then people take time out of their day to comment on their lj....why dont you just call your friends and tell them what happend. i dont know i think thats weeeiiiirrrd!!
E. Retards- they are like humans, except they arent. they drool and cry and puke and smell bad. why cant they just grow up and take care of themselves. and when ever some one sees a retard you cant help but laugh or tell a friend. plus they just look funny. WEEEIIIIIIRD!!!
F. x-mass- for the most part, when us christmas goers were little our parents told us about santa clause. whats weird about that is...we believed it. How can anyone i dont care how little retard or just stupid you are, how did we actually believe that there was this fat man that dressed up in a red suit and this funny hat and flew all over the world. IN ONE NIGHT buy FLYING DEER just to give us presents...how could we be so stupid as to believe that... i dont know about you, but i think that is weeeiiiiiirrrrrdddd!!!!
well. with that out of the way. id like to inform everyone that i like ellen....www.ellentv.com
ok. ok. ok. ok. ok. ok. yea. yes. ya yeaah. yep ok. ok. ok. alright. alrighty. yep. ok yea. ok. sure. fine ok. yea. ok. yep. great yep. wonderful.
somethings gotta change in my life.
love, mcGiver.
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[30 Nov 2005|12:03pm] |
A- Age you lost your virginity?
17
B-Birthday?
march second ninteen eighty seven
C- Car of your dreams?
fuck cars
D- Dads name?
richard, dick, rich, one eye willy
E- Easiest person to make you laugh?
kevin,louis,shane
F- Food you eat most?
Spaghetti, donuts
G- Any encounter with ghost?
do i look fucking stupid?
H- Hungry?
are there certain people that dont get hungry? seriously that was stupid.
I- Interesting fact people don't know about you?
i have a rash on my cock. its contageous
J- Jumped in a pool with all your clothes on?
no.
K-Kissing with your eyes open or closed?
i dont kiss. i just fuck.
L- Last time you did something "bad"?
define bad.im basically just a bad person.
M- Most memorable moment you can think of in a minute?
the time i shit on a floor
N. Nicknames?
mattjackson
O. outgoing or not?
out going...?
P- Person you last talked to on the phone?
bill clinton
Q- Quote that you feel represents you right now?
"im content with the life that i lead. where i drink to much and dont believe in much of anything"
R- What are you allergic to
retards and faggots.
S- Song you last sang out loud?
say anything, that one where hes killing little girls.
T- Time you woke up
8:50
U- U like to sing soft or loud?
i dont sing you cock sucker.
V- Vegetable you eat most?
beer
W- What are you most afraid of?
not going anywhere after you die.
X- X-rated current love life?
BATS IN YA CAVE KIIIID!
Y- Yellowcard or Green Day?
wat does that mean?
z- Zodiac Sign?
swastica
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[21 Nov 2005|07:39pm] |
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Dylan just said "fuck it" im throwing a party.
kevin got really excited.
so we got wicked drunk of off sparkling cyder.
then andrew got pissed because drinking isnt what his tattoos stand for..he ate alone.
then me and jenny fooled around.
afterwards me and monica got really pissed off.
but dan showed me how to have a good time
steph still thought the white house got moved.
so i went to shane and we thought about all the fun we had last night.
i went to kevin and he just started to freak out.
so i went to melissa and she didnt say anything.
chris then came by and tried explaining to me the anatomy of blow fish. but it just got me mad.
so i went to gemma to try and cool down. but that was a bad idea.
so i tried to talk to jackson...but he just sold me weed.
andrew was still really mad.
so i went to nato and all he wanted to talk about was online poker.
Jamie finally came along and explained everything. i started to get happy.
then dylan agreed with everything jamie had to say. so i just showed dylan my lip.
all the talking and getting mad made me hungry. so i ate this.
as a matter of fact..EVERYBODY ate.
and kevin got scared because he couldnt stop eating.
and since kevin got scared i got pissed. and kicked dyans dog in the face.
then jackson pete and chris jumped on me and told me to chill out.
dylan didnt care. he told me he hated that dog anyways...but louis was bullshit.
chris got embarassed.
 
kevin couldnt comprehend anything...so he went outside to have a smoke.
since i think smoking is gay, me pete and shane just started to bond.
then anc broke us up and was all like "DOOD! wheres the fucking gym"
liz laughed at anc and decided to be upside down for the rest of the night.
Pete got pissed at anc and started a fire.
the fire took over the house...so gemma tried to kiss andrew one last time before they met in heaven...andrew wasnt buying it.
everybody freaked out and started to run.
dylan passed out from the smoke.
pete couldnt believe what he did.
kevin said fuck it. let the place burn.
i tried to chill everyone out.
but anc butted in and tolled everyone that the fire got worse.
we all died. horrible ugly deaths.
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[14 Nov 2005|07:20pm] |
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shit on floor plus
 
wicked stupid cartoons plus
pack of butts plus
fighting kidzzz plus
falling out of a fast moving red van plus
MAD FOURTIES plus
a little bit retard
EQUALS!
sincerley, matt mothafuckin jackson
ps. today my boss told me i walked like a chinese girl...
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[08 Nov 2005|10:52pm] |
i only do things that other people are doing. because im not my own person.get it? im a loser.
If you read this, if your eyes are passing over this right now, even if we don't speak often, please post a comment with a memory of you and me. It can be anything you want- good or bad. When you're finished, post this little paragraph on your blog and be surprised (or moritified) about what people remember about you.
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[05 Nov 2005|03:10am] |
tonite was so sweet. i got pulled over with chris and company. and the cop noticed something on the passanger side floor....it was a sprite can....OH WAIT! it was a sprite can that was made into a bowl. he asked me to step out of the car. cuffed me. called for back up. after a half hour of cops fucking up my car i got taken to the merrimac police department. i was there till two thirty...i got arrested around twelve. now my car is impounded. my dads pissed.
i didnt really think you could get arrested for just having a bowl. but i did. but chris and them didnt? but thats good.
but thanks louis. your wicked sweet.
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| this is such a good entry. OMGZ you should read it....or imagine some sweet title that will get you |
[03 Nov 2005|11:19pm] |
i fell from a moving car again. well thats interesting..i have road rash all up my left side and on my elbows. i was more concerned about ruining my clothes though.....because style is everything guys, i mean come on it is 2005.
on another note. its officially november 3 and i still smoke cigarettes and i still cant spell and i still hate retards.
i think im starting to write in this little live journal of mine to much. and i dont like that. ill tell you why.
a. i know that i personally hate seeing five differnt entrys on my friends page all from the same faggot. who i care nothing about. just seeing their icon pisses me off.
b. ill lose all my flair!
C. there is no c...but make one up for me.
i think im just writting alot because im taking ridillin (sp?)
but i did do all my homework. and its 11 o clock and im completely wired. i dont hate it.
which brings me to another toppic.
what the fuck have i turned into. im constantly finding myself doing things that alter the way i think and see things. or is just stupid and bad for your body.
i remember in eith grade when my brain only functioned one way....blink 182 was the best thing to hit this plannet and cigarettes were gross. i dont even think i understood beer and weed.
but i do now.oh trust me do i ever know now. basically im the epitome of what i hated in seventh and eith grade. fuck it. at least i still have all the same friggen sweet friends....NA'AM SAYIN!?
do you though...tell me you know what i am saying. because if im saying something that you dont know then i should know so i can then refresh you on my past. do you know...what i mean?
speaking of mean. alot of people are just mean. im not talking about how me and louis and chris are just straight up dickheads to random people. but i mean, people who arejust assholes that ragged on people and just suck at life because they are so mean. WAIT? maybe i am talking about me louis and chris..ok scratch that.
i think mean doesnt stand for some one who is a dickhead. its just someone who needs more entertainment in their lives. so they make people feel stupid. by (if you will) being MEAN....when i started this essay,entry, paragraph, whatever. i thought people who were mean suck. but i get it now. your only mean because your bored. and being mean isnt bad. its funny. i understand every thing now.
which brings me to another topic. i dont understand everything. actually i understand very little. but one thing that really pisses me off is trying to talk about outer space and what happens after you die. i cant fathem any of that. i dont think any human being really can. the humnan race just simply needs something to believe in. for what ever reason that is. but its true. oh god i would love to know what comes after space. is it just more space. is it just this wall that stops you from going any further? but whats outside that wall?
and when you die..is it just nothing. do you go to heaven? do you just see nothing? i dont want to believe its nothing. because forever is so long. its like FOREVER! things go on without you.i cant comprehend that.
if you can comprehend the topic i just brought up then im gonna SHIT ON YOUR FLOOR. i dont care if its a rug. hard floor, marble, sand, or dimonds. if you comprehend death and what goes on out in space then expect a big mound of fresh mattjackson shit steaming on your kitchen floor. ask emily munson its not fun. what a cunt.
oh yea. also...why do girls take the word cunt so personal. just to let you know...i feed of that. i like the fact that it offends you ladies so much that it makes you wanna cry and beat me up. i love it.
ill admit it. IM MATTJACKSON and i enjoy making people feel bad about them selves. now, one might argue that im just insecure about myself so i need to make people fell like shit....
well let me tell you this smart ass. that reasoning is old. ive heard that since fith grade. and im pretty sure its not true. i simply make fun of your mom or call you a cunt because it pleases me to know that i just ruined your day. and if i didnt, then ill shit on your floor.
but seriously...why would i be insecure.
i know i have a small penis.
i know im not cool. or poplular.
i know my hair looks gay and is too long.
i know im stupid and wont go to a real college.
the list just gets longer. so find better reasoning to why i act mean to you sometimes. now dont get me wrong. i dont descriminate. i make fun of niggers,jews, and faggots too. as a matter of fact. if you are a nigger a jew or gay then nintey percent of what i say will probably offend you.
ahhahaha. this entry was so meaningless. i hope you didnt read it all.
but if you did. then honestly...ill jerk you off.
love;
corey matthews. YEAH RIGHT!...i wish i was corey matthews. GOD! my life sucks.
sincerly; matthew richard jackson. <3
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[01 Nov 2005|08:49pm] |
oh how cute livejournal has a new set up.thats reaal cute. oh wow how cute. isnt that cute? i dont like it...but it just looks so cute. wonderful.
i was talking to chris last night about DYING, and how bad it would SUCK if one of our FRIENDS DIED. that would suck real bad. id cry. all i know that is when i die. i better do it the right fucking way. like by getting stabed in the face by a rapist, or shot during a bank hold up, or hit by a bus in an heroic act of saving this little childs life, or by getting a little kitty from a high tree, or suicide. show no sypathy if my death is smoking related, drinking related, or falling out of a van related.DEATH is so silly, what it all comes down to is you live. you die. people are sad for a little bit but then they die. sometimes its all just to much for me to coprehend but so arent alot of things. remember, im mattjackson, not the retarded one but im not far from it.
oh god that reminds me. i fucking hate retards, i dont feel bad or sorry for them. and why should i. they fucking yell, cry, through up and spit every where, then they want to be your friends. if this was really a free country then why cant i shoot retards. if we can shoot bears then we should most definitly should be able to shoot retards. nintey three percent of wild life is smarter than a fucking RETARD.god.
downsyndrom kids however...they arent that bad. but none the less i hate their guts. their the spawn of satan. they all look alik, act alike. and for somereason act like they are capable of duing human things. WHAT A JOKE.
one time at mcDonalds this fucking downs kid was washing the floor and asked me if i could teach him how to play trumpit. i should of slamdunked my big mac in his face. GOD.
now listen...the few who read this i do not want any comments about how bad that is of me to say. because you know you hate retards just as much. your just in denial.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL.
father jackson
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[26 Oct 2005|11:30am] |
i went and saw saosin the other night at the paladium. saosin was/is always will be amazing. there so tight and orgasmic...anyone one who has seen them before knows what im talking about. ive only seen them twice and both times i just stood there in a trance amazed by how good they are and how much i like them.
ive realized recently how much of a joke my life is.
it all started when i was six years old, when i through a brick at my friends face for no good reason.we then went our different ways. then over the years my life just became so stupid...almost pointless.lets see....
Second grade: moved to merrimac and realized theres a fucking retard with the same name as me. and we learned about dinosaurs the whole year.
Third grade: use to write stories about pencils, and footballs eating people.
Fourth grade: had a teacher who owned a teranchula? grow up mrs. Mcguirk.
Fifth grade: parents divorced, jumped out my second story window, and punched sam brown in the head.
Sixth grade: became really good friends with andrew, and derek moved to merrimac. we obsessed with killing people, porn, and blink one eighty two. and made fun of britanny and erin every day of our waking lives.
Seventh grade: lit a bathroom on fire at lake attatash, put a snake in a ladies mail box, stole a shit load of candy from gi gi's every day, and skate boarded with da crew.proceeded to make brittany and erin miserable.
Eight grade:really really really started to have a hate for erin and brittany and did everything in my power to make them hate themselves.
Nineth grade: got shitty grades and didnt give a fuck.
Tenth grade: started doing better in school. and started becoming better friends with everyone.
eleventh grade: realized schools a joke and pentucket sucks dick. gave up.fought kidz at shows.
cant spell 12th grade:shit on a girls floor. started drinking way to much, took up smoking cigarettes, pissed on a girls floor, fell out of a van, got tattoos, earned money, stole money, pissed it all away.
well guys...as you can clearly see, i have done nothing significant with my life, and dont plan to in the future. and its all because i have a fucking retard with the same name as me. thanks Matthew Ryan Jackson....you retarded fuck.
EDIT: during the grades of fith sixth and seventh i started getting in fights at recess and shit. the school had to call officer dave and have him sit with me for like an hour talking about fighting and how my life will go down hill if i keep it up. fuck you dave...
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[19 Oct 2005|09:31am] |
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i wish i knew all the mysteries of the world. and only me. i also wish i had this sick super power, like spider man or wolverine.yeeeah thad be tiight.
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ducttape_850's journal
